be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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