Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
