I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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