nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dick very happy bro
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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