i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
