i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
accomplished twins. life is a go
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's official drugs can't kill me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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