I think my fart just growled at me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
