Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
