this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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