so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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