I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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