If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
