sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
