We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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