She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She's the barista slut.
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So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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