I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
