What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize