Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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