Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I came so hard my ears popped.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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