Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
