i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize