If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Randomize
