So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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