i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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