she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
