bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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