I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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