I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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