Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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