They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All I want is dick and wine.
ok first of all what the fuck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
