Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
