I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize