ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
