yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
