next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
