I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He? As in you personified your dick?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
