I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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