Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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