What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
