We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
