i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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