Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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