we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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