My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
