Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
