just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
