one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
