I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
