Im at strip club and am horny
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
