this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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