Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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