i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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