Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
