I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
