Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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