No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize