North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
