Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
